I have the hardest time posting blogs or writing in general in the evenings. I wake up in the mornings and while I’m laying there, if I even get that chance with two boys wanting to eat breakfast, I think about things that I would write about. But when the evening comes I generally can’t remember what I was thinking about. I think it’s usually pretty good what I’m thinking about but I can’t seem to remember exactly how I worded it later in the day and thus I usually never blog late at night. The only time I might blog at night is after my day with my son and his potty issue lately. Or that the Blackhawks won a game, which they did last night and thus the series and so they are moving on. Go Hawks!
I seriously don’t know what to write right now. Tonight Milan cried when I grabbed his arm and prevented him from running after his brother. He was supposed to put on his pajamas, but these days he seems like can’t concentrate on the more simple tasks and so when I got a little upset that he was about to take off after Viktor, who was already dressed, I grabbed his arm and sat him back down. He started to cry and my head began to tense up. The whole bath time was frustrating, both my boys like to put the bath water in their mouths so I tell them to stop, they ignore me. I take things away and then they cry for what seems like hours.
After Milan finished crying he brushed his teeth but then he didn’t want me to read to him so I lay there with him and listened while he slowly fell asleep. He started to put his fingers in his mouth more too. So now we have pooping issues and he is beginning to suck his fingers. Never was like this until I tried to get him to do things on his own. Makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, then I think of how my father would lecture me endlessly about I don’t know what, and I feel like I’m doing that with Milan. It saddens me to think that I’m being my father. It frustrates me that this isn’t what I really wanted to write in my blog but I just couldn’t figure out how to put into more creative words what I’m feeling. I want to be a writer and I can’t even write. Makes me very sad.
I’m listening to the Blackhawks play the Blues in-game 4 so I’m a little distracted right now. But anyway I had signed up for a writing critique group a week ago or so but I had to pass on the opportunity because my wife had to work late. Now I find out that the group is closed, they took only six people, which is good I don’t like large groups for critiquing. My beef I guess is that there are at least two guys who are part of another writing critique group that is also closed, not accepting new personnel, and thus making it difficult for someone like to me to get into a group and get my stuff looked at. When I first joined the Triangle Writers Group there were two groups and if you went to one you couldn’t go to the other. Then a bunch of people branched off because they were close to publishing their books and the rest of us relocated to a BN in a mall instead of the Caribou Coffee in Cary where we had been meeting. That group filled up fast and there was always a waiting list. Well the guy who branched off for a while, he published his book on Amazon and started the Caribou Coffee group again. Only I couldn’t go but at least two guys from the BN group who typically were not on the waiting list got into this group and now they are part of both groups. This irks me and now I think that I should start another group or something I mean I can’t really fault those guys, they want as much advise as possible it’s just that both groups grew out of Caribou Coffee and now they belong to both and I am not.
So a local writers critique group that I belonged to a while ago is starting up again. The original group moved to a new location and while the location wasn’t all that bad, a BN, there just were too many people involved. There was often a waiting list. This group is back at the old meeting place and the guy leading it is looking to keep the regular participation low, to live seven people. That might mean that I get my writing critiqued more frequently. COurse I haven’t written anything in like six or seven months. These blog don’t count. I feel very much as though I don’t have much to say in the way or fiction writing. I was on a very big crime noir type kick. I read that stuff all the time, love it really. So I was trying to create my own character like Ala Philip…
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Anyway Milan went pee by himself this morning then went into his room and was supposed to get dressed but instead he sits down with a NinjaTurtle toy a friend of his left behind by accident yesterday. He uses this toy as a hammer and breaks my IQ test game, you know the one where there are pegs in a triangle piece of wood and you are supposed to jump pegs like checkers and the fewer pegs left the higher your IQ. Anyway all the pegs are broken now and I’m a little concerned by this behavior. He typically will divert his attention away from a specific task, like getting dressed for school or sleep, and do something else completely. Not sure if he has ADD I know that it is too early to test for that but this hammering and constant avoiding the responsible things is troubling to me.
So we are trying something different now with my oldest son and his pooping in his pants issues. We have a chart with potty topics ranging from telling someone that he needs to go to actually pooping on the potty or peeing on the potty. For every deed he gets a star which translates to a treat. Our treat is gummy fruits. We have to do it for our youngest son as well since you can’t give one boy something without giving the same thing to the other. So far it’s 4-1 in favor of youngest son.
So a local writers critique group that I belonged to a while ago is starting up again. The original group moved to a new location and while the location wasn’t all that bad, a BN, there just were too many people involved. There was often a waiting list. This group is back at the old meeting place and the guy leading it is looking to keep the regular participation low, to live seven people. That might mean that I get my writing critiqued more frequently. COurse I haven’t written anything in like six or seven months. These blog don’t count. I feel very much as though I don’t have much to say in the way or fiction writing. I was on a very big crime noir type kick. I read that stuff all the time, love it really. So I was trying to create my own character like Ala Philip Marlowe. My wife thought that I was pretty good and so did some of the other members of the first critique group I belonged to. But with most of my time being spent with my kids so we can save money on daycare, my minimal teaching load but over reaching preparation and after teaching schedule, and the lack of money we have forcing me to get another part time job, I’ve just been too lazy or busy to write anything. These blog don’t count though I’m thinking of using them. It’s getting me writing. Anyway I don’t want to go to this new group with the same story I had before. I need something fresh. Just not sure anything in my life is worth writing about in a mystery setting.
At home my oldest instantly wanted to watch something on TV. Usually he’s watching Pocoyo or Dinosaur Train but I have told the boys that the TV is ‘broken’ again. I got the feeling this weekend that my oldest is not listening to his body when it comes to going to the bathroom, or me for that matter, because he was consumed by watching TV. So I’m putting an end to this. Off went the TV and now my boys are besides themselves. They are still constantly asking to watch a movie, which to them means watching a TV show like Dinosaur Train. Normally I’m not this bad since I like DT, it’s very educational and it’s an area of interest for me and my wife. But it seems like watching TV is all my kids want to do and rather than listen to them whine about it, I blacked it out forcing them to play with their toys. It worked pretty well before but we went back to watching TV for a family night and then it was like all they wanted to do was watch TV. I give it a week and they will ask for it less and less again. Puts a kibosh on family movie nights but I think it is a good thing. Like Dr. Scott the Paleontologist says in DT; Get outside, get into nature and make your own discoveries.